Staying in touch – the old fashioned way

I had to include the faded picture of tubby me and my beautiful Mom circa late 1970 because she is the one who triggered my pondering the topic of staying in touch the old fashioned way. And because every time we get on the phone she still calls me her "beautiful baby girl" and I am 41 years old. So the topic of staying in touch the old fashioned way came to me after she and I talked on the phone the other day and I was telling her about starting my blog. She surprised me when she asked, “what is a blog, what does blogging even mean?” Although she does use a computer and email (email rarely), she does not use any other form of electronic communication: no texting, no Facebook and of course she doesn’t read blogs. As I was explaining to her that blogging is sort of an online public journal and a way for me to share my love of food, cooking and life, I was reminded of how technology driven our lives are now. How all the technology we "enjoy" allows us to do more and more with our time, making life seem to buzz by us at lightning speed. And before we know it, a few months, a year, then a few years have passed and live contact with an old friend or even family has slipped by.  Now, it is not lost on me, the irony of sharing my thoughts on this topic in a blog post, as I use many modes of technology to communicate…probably too many. But it's also why I took the time to share these thoughts; there are friends I want to call and notes I want to write. And I will be making a regular effort to slow down long enough to communicate the old-fashioned way: a phone call, a handwritten note, maybe even a letter...

Staying in touch with my mom is a good reminder for me; it requires that I slow down while we talk on the phone because I don't see her often (she lives in Long Island) and we very rarely email because it takes her weeks, sometimes longer, to respond. She always has a lot to share about what she’s doing, so I have to make sure I’m not on the computer, texting on a second phone, or distracted in some other way so I can really listen to what she is sharing about her life. It's certainly not a bad thing that I have to slow down and pay attention (I should!) but rather a reminder of how infrequent it seems I do that with other people in my life.  I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with Facebook for that reason. I love that I am in touch with many old friends and that I get to hear tidbits of what’s going on in their lives and see pictures of their beautiful children and families. But I do miss having more frequent live interaction of a phone call or receiving a note or card in the mail instead of an e-card or post on Facebook. Of course I enjoy the convenience of technology and electronic communication in order to keep in touch with family and friends but talking on the phone with my mom reminds me of the importance of person to person contact – hearing the voice and inflections, sharing and hearing laughter or tears, and the exchange of life, being lived and shared with those we love - the parts we don't get to experience when we are communicating electronically.

  

This also relates to why I love to cook and bake and share it with others. In the preparation stage, I am totally focused on what I’m doing: planning, measuring, chopping, mixing. Nothing else is on my mind when I am in the kitchen. It is calming and mind-clearing. And one of my favorite parts of the process is putting a box together with some home baked goodies or a container with a home cooked meal and taking it to a neighbor or friend – sharing something that took time, care and focus – and then delivering it to their door, spending a few minutes with them to chat and catch up on life. Cooking and baking is not only something I love doing for my personal enjoyment but also because it connects me with others...and there is joy in bringing others joy.

So tomorrow I will make time to call a friend and catch up on life. Then I will get to business addressing the wild pot of basil growing in my back yard and make a batch of homemade pesto. Of course I will share the recipe and a few pictures.